Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Stepped in a Puddle

Patient's acting badly; yelling, screaming, cursing, hitting, biting, scratching, downright dangerous. And then, thirty minutes later apologizing, as if their scientific medical diagnosis is to blame. Give me a break; that's just a very lame excuse to accommodate bad behavior.

Stepped in a Puddle

Just ain't what it used to be,
You scream, bite, scratch and snarl
I can charge you with assault and battery,
Then, later on, you come around
And apologize for your bad behavior,
Telling me, "It's because I have Alzheimer's
I'm a sinner, I'm nobody's savior".

Twice in the past month
Patient's acting like nasty creatures,
Post-operative ugly, rabid attitudes
All kinds of undesirable features,
Then later on, sweet as a peach
Apologizing, pandering for my attention,
Declaring, "I've got mental illness"
As if they deserve some honorable mention.

It's all too touchy-feely for me
I'm supposed to say (per the Huddle)
"Thank you, for letting me be your Nurse",
Sure, I smile and wave, even though
You were a mofo-monstrous, Godzilla curse,
While your outside-caregiver shrugs shoulders
Sitting there at the side of the gurney,
If I could satisfy my secret thoughts
By god, I would need a cidal-attorney.

They don't talk about that in our Huddles
It's just as well, how I hate that whole construct,
Although I love the words that might rhyme
With chucked, plucked and bile duct,
Which coincidentally, reminds me of last night
Where I was subjected to your spitting and cursing,
Huddle me, fuddle, I stepped in a puddle
This is the bane of good Nursing.


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