Sunday, January 29, 2012

Pill-bottle safety caps have been around for years. When my kids were young, I could see the value, although, as a good parent, I kept a locked cabinet in the garage for all poisonous substances of that nature. Now that I'm an older person, safety caps, knobs on devices that I must unleash, and other similar designs, are a painful threat to me on a daily basis. Quite frankly, I think it's a conspiracy against all of us with cranky hands.

Pill Bottle

Narcotic security
It's a no-brainer,
Until I need the medication
And can't open the container;
Sure, I understand
There's a crime problem, dude,
But, this bottle is so hard to open
It might as well be glued.

Then take into account
My arthritic right-hand,
If you're asking me
This mechanism should be banned,
Because, just trying to remove
The top, to get a pill,
My hand hurts, I get so angry:
There's an inventor I want to kill.

Press down, hard
Turn counter-clockwise, and lift,
Feel the bones in my hand
Torque sideways and drift,
As a thousand nociceptors
Are activated, and I scream,
Dammit, whose idea was this?
Now I need a surgical team.

I have real pain
And I need some relief,
But all I get from this safety-bottle
Is a world of grief,
So, once again
An engineering braniac,
Has turned a civil citizen
Into a raging maniac.


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