Saturday, October 22, 2011

No matter where you go, if you start a new job, you must endure something called "orientation". I just experienced that a couple of weeks ago, even though I am still, technically, in the same hospital system.


Hospital orientation
No matter where you attend,
It always seems to last too long
And you just wish it would end,

After all the many introductions
The Avatar values, right and left,
No one in the audience seems interested
A classical, time-management theft.

Names and departments, and who's the who
And what they are doing, I just don't know,
But the dude from Human Resources
Loves his stories, and it's his show.

So you better look sort of interested
Because, sleepy new employees don't impress,
He has all of the Managers on speed-dial
And I hope he's open to bribery, I confess.

__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __

Orientation propaganda always bugs me. I hope it only works on "the first-time" healthcare worker, because for the rest of us, it's old news.

Ancillary Propaganda

They're still selling us “A.I.D.E.T.”
So I guess we haven't made it,
Nursing Bundles and Rounding
….........Discharge phone calls.........
Tell me, how's that sounding?

And now an Ancillary Bundle
For all of you non-nurses,
And lastly the “No Pass Zone”
Oh Lordy, now that's a bundle of curses.

And to think, I've figured this out
Without having yet, gone to the inservice,
This is a well disguised pile of propaganda
And quite frankly, I'm paranoid and nervous.

The trends of Health-Care mismanagement
Have little to do with outcomes and healing,
Rather, patient satisfaction surveys and reimbursement
Keep the managers busy, bargaining and dealing.

Oh, shades of many different colors
Like an old time stage, with shifting scenery and a big curtain,
This is the present day arena we're working in
And like a low budget moving picture show......
The outcome is always uncertain.


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