Monday, March 29, 2010

As the nurse ages, he sees more and more patients of his generation lying or dying there in the bed. It does give pause to ponder.

Bad Habits Deluxe

Lately I've been pondering
My own mortality,
I've been taking care of the morbidly sick
Who are just as old as me.

I imagine that I own
Some magical health protection,
A barrier to sick and evil diseases
Courtesy of divine selection.

I purport that my meatless diet
For 30 years and more,
Is the secret to my longevity
My key to the healthy door.

And I'll claim that the genes I inherited
Don't stack up to the usual condition,
Of diabetes, heart disease and stroke
I'm protected by selective rendition.

But who am I kidding with this ridiculous story
Each one of us thinks, it will be the other guy,
Either bad habits deluxe, or a squeaky clean life
Flip a coin, I could be the next one to die.

Pondering my immortality
Is a better wager I think,
So many lifetimes of adventure
Gone in the eye of a blink.


Thursday, March 18, 2010

I recently interviewed for another classification and apparently there were three other applicants too. We all got the cut, so I guess it's back to the Minor Leagues. Anyway, I wasn't very attached to the outcome, so I'm not really disappointed. I know I'm going to stay in the position with less stress, so that's probably a good thing.
But essentially, I'm off the bus.

Off The Bus

We interviewed
The four of us,
And then they left us
Off the bus;
It wasn't moving
So, it was gentle,
But I guess, too much talent
Can be detrimental.

I interviewed
'Twas a lengthy affair,
Two separate times
In the victims chair,
The jury's decision
Was just executed,
And like a computer
I've been rebooted.

My grandiose dreams
Of wealth and power,
Lasted for only
About one hour,
Now I must return
As the horse with no fable,
Just chewing my oats
In the Nursing stable.


Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The story tells itself.

Dubious Science

I'll gladly be a trumpeter of evidence based practice
But come on baby, light my fire, it has to make sense,
If you show me statistics, and meaningful methods
I'll jump on your bandwagon, and gladly play defense;

But show me a policy, with the most dubious science
Like stopping the tube feed, when I lower the bed-head,
There's no single iota of technical value
Unless you're smoking some reefer, with Jerry the deadhead;.

A tube-feed that is running, at even 60 mils per hour
Is only dripping, at one mil per minute,
How will that alter the outcome of head-down
This policy has no sense within it;

Let's say, we laid him down, for 10 minutes of bath
That's tube-feed times ten mils, that we added to his gut,
There's no kind of physics, to predict any peril
Except to those of us standing, at the back porch of his butt;

The aspiration risk, to Snoopy Dupe Jones
Has nothing to do with a dripper,
This is dubious science to the maximum mondo
It reminds me of reruns of "Flipper".

On one hand we practice, some hot-damn good science
While in our books we brag about more,
If the policy date, is more than 10 years late
I don't advise that you bet on the score.


Tuesday, March 09, 2010

There is a flier on the wall, indicating that the good Doctor D. would soon be performing some cutting edge surgeries. I was wondering if that meant, that only some of his surgeries are cutting-edge, and then he has another side, where he performs say, some blunt dissection surgeries too. It's that word some, that is throwing me off.

So naturally, I had to write "Cutting Edge".


Some of his surgeries are cutting-edge
While others are strictly smash and grab,
Historically, a few are just a nip, tuck and slice
For the removal of moles, scars and flab.

Cutting-edge surgery, is the name of the game
Blunt dissection, is a thing of the past,
With the help of a couple of robotic arms
Good golly, Miss Molly, he's fast.

Hardly anyone bleeds more than one pint of blood
He cauterizes with the light of a laser,
And if you complain, about your half-missing brain
Watch out, he is packing a phaser.

He's a cutting edge surgeon, with the sharpest of edges
He acquires his knives, by the crate,
Don't wiggle or squirm, he might cut off your worm
He'll declare, it's your cutting-edge fate.


Thursday, March 04, 2010

I've written about good and bad doctors. Fortunately, most are good characters, both personally and professionally. Here is my latest story:

He Rules The Roost

Dr. Murphy.......
He still rules the roost,
I think, our move to the new unit
Has given him a boost,
He arrives in the morning
By the crack of oh-seven,
Like he just dropped in
From his corner of heaven.

He regales the nursing staff
With his plans and his dreams,
He encourages the patients
Despite their moans and their screams,
In his spotless white coat
And his tidy, trimmed hair,
Why, no one has the nerve
To occupy his chair.

We all leap, jump and scramble
When he utters a suggestion,
He won't harbor fools
If you respond with a question,
And, pre-gather all your data
And pertinent facts,
If you can't be concise
Baby, you'll get the axe.

He's a good natured sort
And his humor is bent,
But don't tarry or lag
Because his time is well spent,
Not to be frittered or frattered
On frivolous fluff,
He may humor you for a moment
But enough, is enough.

Dr. Murphy...............
He still runs this joint,
If he ever departs
Who will we anoint?