Countless times I have seen the individual patient who had clearly stated and defined in their written record, that they held a "DNR" classification. Yes, that's right, Do Not Resuscitate. Oh, but then they need to have some kind of surgery and DNR apparently doesn't play on the sound system in the O.R.
So, for just a short time.........they will be temporarily classified as a "Full Code". If something bad happens, like a cardiac / respiratory arrest, then they will receive the Cadillac Escalade of emergency therapies. Somehow a few brain-stem neurons survive, their heart keeps beating, they do some guppy breathing and bingo!, they slowly dissolve over the next 7 weeks. What the heck?!? I could have sworn I read "DNR" on his Admission Record!

It is a horrid, unethical, immoral crime against humanity. Hard to say that in the same breath, when we claim we are advocates for human dignity. Give me a flippin' break, Jake!

Free Resuscitation

When I got too old
To drive my car,
My doctor made me
A DNR,
But when I went in
For my surgery,
They offered resuscitation
Completely free.

That's a heck of a deal
The surgeon said,
If you crump on the table
We'll bring you back from the dead,
Because we don't want people dying
In our operation room,
It's bad for my reputation
And it's a flippin', dollar doom.

But worry not, sir
There ain't no one better,
We operate by the book
Down to the last letter,
And the gist of all of this talk
Is about risks and regulations,
You'll come through with flying colors
And standing ovations.

So you did poorly, after surgery
Well, it's clearly not our fault,
We performed what we promised
And you didn't tell us to halt,
When you had the opportunity
Before morbidity and mortality,
Would get the upper hand
And you'd become a fatality.

You should have put your foot down
And stayed a DNR,
'Cause now you're riding in a hearse
Which you traded for your car.

Fibril_late;
4/28/08