I clearly missed out on a few "new" things in the past 7 years, away from the bedside. Maybe others did too.

Are you subject to the whole JCAHO "communication" directive regarding the SBAR acronym (Situation, Background, Assessment, Recommendation)? Everybody and their brother seems to have had to start reporting that way, or something similar, I guess. Well, it reminded me a heck of a lot of the old FUBAR acronym, which I'm sure many of you know to mean, Fu**ed Up Beyond All Repair. SBAR looks almost like that, right? Well, I sure thought so. And the following poem spells it out pretty clearly.

SBAR vs. FUBAR

I merely left the bedside
For seven short years,
But naturally I wondered
How I'd fit in with my peers,
I need worry not
They are stellar professionals,
But the workplace is different
Thanks to Jayco Congressionals.

Leave it to the Joint Commission
To give rules of communication,
They say it's all about patient safety
But it's more like approbation,
And another thing about it
Is the acronym, or name,
Just trying to pronounce SBAR
Those executives put us to shame.

Situation and Background
Assessment and Recommendation,
Up to five syllable words
Clearly testing my mentation,
Is this some kind of experiment
Are we rehearsing for the future?
If there is a threat of a lawsuit
Can we repair it with a suture?

But my greatest concern
Is with the choice of the acronym,
Having an Engineering background
It sounds like our marching hymn,
FUBAR was our mantra
It covered any possible disaster,
Fu**ed Up Beyond All Repair
Was our answer, to the master.

I know, that I possibly shocked you
But the world is a wretched place,
There are times at the hospital
When all Hell breaks loose
And the SBAR just flies in your face,
And I suspect that some members of Jayco
Were laughing while gasping for air,
Knowing the true meaning of SBAR;
Screwed Beyond All Repair.

Fibril_late;
3/10/08