Sunday, June 24, 2018

Hair Appointment


I haven't worked in a same-day surgery center, but I would imagine that those places probably stay relatively on-time; they don't have to deal with emergency things much. In contrast, where I work, almost every day there is some kind of major delay for one or more of several services. For those folks who get antsy, fussy, keep asking why is it taking so long, cuz the doctor said the procedure would only take 90 minutes (and as usual he forgot to tell them about the pre-op 2 hours and the post-op 4 hours, oops).............I will tell them; Ya know, this isn't like having your hair done. No actually, you might recall that it involves putting 6 wires up inside of your heart, freezing and burning tissue, and then we carefully watch over you for a few hours to make sure it's safe for you to go home. I mean, does your Hair dresser do that for you?

Waiting for a hair appointment
Fifteen minutes over,
You might feel like jumping
Off the Cliffs of Dover,
Or waiting for your Latte'
To get its signature foam,
As your stomach starts to rumble
Inside the silver dome.

Now compare that to waiting
For the procedure on your heart,
We all want the best for you
We're all a team, please play your part,
As a gracious consumer
With good fortune, to have this day,
Imagine just fifty years ago
We couldn't fix you, no way.

Truly, this is science
To repair major heart issues,
Heck, even in this moment
Researchers are growing heart tissues,
So please take a moment
Or maybe two hours more,
To get a grip, Joe Bob
Your complaining is a chore.

I told you that Mary
Had an acute M.I.
She had to go to the Cath Lab
Or she was going to die,
And that's why you're waiting
Longer than expected,
But if you keep yelling
We'll have you ejected.

Go ahead and write that letter
To the head honcho that you know,
Send a letter to your Congressman
And the Jerry Springer show,
Frankly, we don't really care
Because we do what is best,
Serve each client fairly
Like a member of our nest.

We do the kinds of things
Never done before,
To help you have more of life
How do you rate that, what's the score?
Even if we're delayed
Why not show us your best side,
But if you can't do that
I'll call Uber for your ride.


1 comment:

Old FoolRN said...

Cardiac patients always seemed time pressured and impatient. Maybe that's the root cause of their problems.