Saturday, September 30, 2017

Doctor Wife

It is not unusual for medical professionals to marry, and many doctors do that very thing. But when the kids enter the picture, how many of the house-wives are there, compared to house-husbands? How many of those husbands are willing to set aside thier 12 years of education, and 7 years of hotshot practice, to be the house-husband? Probably not a single one!

Doctor Wife

She's an E.P. doctor
In her own right,
Yet, she's alone with their kid
At the house every night,
While hubby plays Master
Of the Universe,
He denies complications
His ambition is a curse.

Friday, September 22, 2017


Once again the insanity is full bore at work; we seem to have a perpetual 4 persons off on indefinite-leave, so their positions hang in limbo. Thus, we remain perpetually, unsafely understaffed. The only thing saving us and our fragile clients, is us. And we are the evening Recovery crew comprised of 2 or 3 nurses, barely hanging on from 1730 to 2300+.  So, crazy.

That 8 French arterial sheath
What a bloody nightmare,
What the hell was I thinking
Like I succumbed to double-dare,
Supposing, I can handle this
I'm a seasoned old horse,
But it was the wrong time to saddle
A huge mistake, of course.

Once again Miss Courageous
Came to my aid,
She's a good one to work with
Though clearly underpaid,
And when my cavalier attitude
Gets me in trouble,
Thank goodness my companions
Coming running on the double.

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Ben Gay

Over the counter; sometimes it actually works, but you'd better read the label.

A pain in the neck
That's what he felt,
A 3 day muscle spasm
After his tendons took the belt,
Now after he performs
Range of motion,
He goes running to the cabinet
For Ben Gay lotion.

Great stuff it is
Smells good too,
Not as dangerous
As super glue,
But, don't spread it all over
You just might not endure it,
It is difficult to cure it.

Because you can't carry 
Enough Oxygen to utilize,
Your hemoglobin is blocked
Oh, what a surprise,
And if you don't have on hand
A hyperbaric chamber, or Methylene Blue,
We'll shake our heads and gossip
When we say goodbye to you.

Friday, September 01, 2017


Bullying / Hazing, is still happening in our industry. I was subject to it just last year, when I started another job. The other nurses at that place said stuff like, "Oh ya, Betty Lou is always rude like that". I thanked my lucky stars when that bully nurse left the department soon afterward. DISCLAIMER: This poem presents a radical, dark solution to the problem. In other words, my own cynical views.

I was subject to bullying
Numerous times,
As a youngster suffering
Those childhood crimes,
And a few distinct instances
In my Nursing career,
Why it persists to continue
Is not really clear.

The bully has a weakness
Somewhere deep inside,
They will never admit
That it's under their hide,
They might raise their voice in anger
They may threaten or yell,
Reprimand or ridicule
Till your job is a holy Hell.

You might want to quit
But that's giving in,
You can't escape the problem
This original sin,
It is better to stay
And get retaliation,
Become smarter and tougher
And then perform eradication.

There are various ways to do this
Yes, books have been written,
Subtle ways of harrassment
So the subject feels bitten,
A little this and that
To dismantle their career,
So, when they look in the mirror
They will see a face of fear.

Yes, life is a battle
From the day you were hatched,
It's time to show the bullies
They are hopelessly overmatched.