Clean Out

GoLytely, is not lyte! They should have called it, "Drink Soap and Crapalot"
Well, times have changed, and for the better.


Clean Out

There will come a day

When you need to empty out,

Well, I discovered a remedy

I could publish and shout,

But, if I were to do that

I would certainly lose my edge,

And the next thing you know

I could be hiding under a hedge.

Hedge fund managers

Would be chasing after me,

They want to tap into my secret

Regarding this intestinal evacuee,

It's a multi-million dollar

Investment cycle milieu,

There is a lot of shit to spread around

And it all begins with YOU.

Some things are very sensitive

One can't inform the general population,

After all, I could really profit

From bowel medicine exploitation,

No more Golytely preps

With that vague citrus taste,

Whereby, most prescribed users

Will lie about, how much they waste.

It might seem drastic

Regarding what you do,

When you need to promote

Digestive doo-doo,

It's a method and a madness

And it really works, you'll see,

If you want to know about it

Step right up, and pay the fee.

Switch back and forth

A cup of tea, a cup of beer,

After four rounds of that

The toilet you will fear,

And after seven sit-downs

Take a glass of purple wine,

Your day will be complete

When you're flowing loose and fine.

There is one more ingredient

It can not be mentioned here,

It may foment religious commotion

And rile folks, with fear,

So, if you want the complete remedy

Just send me twenty dollars,

You will receive the secret Mojo

Known to very few scholars.

We take all major credit cards

Anything debit, that’s for sure,

Food stamps, cash, aluminum cans

Any questions?, read the brochure,

Anything recyclable

Goes to a local buyer,

Together we're custodians

Our Environment, Doth Inspire!

Your G.I. Doc, will recommend

GoLYTELY, for purification,

Please think of us, consumer

For a clean-out kind of vacation,

It won't seem as crazy stupid

As drinking a gallon of soap, 

Plus, you'll get a little buzz

Along with a pleasant sense of hope.