GoLytely, is not lyte! They should have called it, "Drink Soap and Crapalot"
Well, times have changed, and for the better.
There will come a day
When you need to empty out,
Well, I discovered a remedy
I could publish and shout,
But, if I were to do that
I would certainly lose my edge,
And the next thing you know
I could be hiding under a hedge.
Hedge fund managers
Would be chasing after me,
They want to tap into my secret
Regarding this intestinal evacuee,
It's a multi-million dollar
Investment cycle milieu,
There is a lot of shit to spread around
And it all begins with YOU.
Some things are very sensitive
One can't inform the general population,
After all, I could really profit
From bowel medicine exploitation,
No more Golytely preps
With that vague citrus taste,
Whereby, most prescribed users
Will lie about, how much they waste.
It might seem drastic
Regarding what you do,
When you need to promote
It's a method and a madness
And it really works, you'll see,
If you want to know about it
Step right up, and pay the fee.
Switch back and forth
A cup of tea, a cup of beer,
After four rounds of that
The toilet you will fear,
And after seven sit-downs
Take a glass of purple wine,
Your day will be complete
When you're flowing loose and fine.
There is one more ingredient
It can not be mentioned here,
It may foment religious commotion
And rile folks, with fear,
So, if you want the complete remedy
Just send me twenty dollars,
You will receive the secret Mojo
Known to very few scholars.
We take all major credit cards
Anything debit, that’s for sure,
Food stamps, cash, aluminum cans
Any questions?, read the brochure,
Goes to a local buyer,
Together we're custodians
Our Environment, Doth Inspire!
Your G.I. Doc, will recommend
GoLYTELY, for purification,
Please think of us, consumer
For a clean-out kind of vacation,
It won't seem as crazy stupid
As drinking a gallon of soap,
Plus, you'll get a little buzz
Along with a pleasant sense of hope.