Monday, January 02, 2017


Certain topics, are covered often because they are so visceral in their presentation. And honestly, each time it's old and yet reveals some unique nuance that I just have to cover. But first, I cover my clothing and my nose.

Covered in stool
It never is pretty,
Back, butt, arms and legs
It's downright shitty,
At first look, it overwhelms
"How can I possibly clean, that?"
Run to the linen cart
Grab a bunch of towels
Call the cleanup crew, STAT!

Take a careful moment to notice
Is it flowing off the bed?
That detail is so important
So you don't slip and slide onto your head,
If it's on the floor, get some shoe covers
So the crap doesn't walk home with you,
Although it doesn't smell as bad
It is way worse than dog poo.

Now, I was unsure what to do
So I consulted my weegee,
It spelled out, forty wash-cloths
And a high-pressure squeegee,
Yes, that did the trick
BB, was slick as a whistle;
Just another chapter
In the crapola epistle.


Old FoolRN said...

One of the most vexing decisions a nurse faces: is it easier to remove the poop from the patient or remove the patient from the poop. If stool is cascading on the floor grab a litter lined with chux and haul the whole enchilada (pt. and poop) off to the pedestal tub while a partner cleans the bed.

Don't you just love it when some nursing supervisor who is a self-proclaimed big shot reports: "The patient in room 232 is covered in feces." I actually had a head nurse that had a strategy for dealing with timid nursing supervisors. "We have a Finders Rule on this unit. The person that identifies the fecal mishap is responsible for clean-up." This policy made for very rare visits from office sitting supervisors.

Fibril_late said...

Sounds exactly like what the Top Dog would say at Sister Euphemia's place, that's a fact. But Old Fool, I love that "Finders Rule" of yours. Unfortunately, in my role as ICU-Break Nurse, I often discover things when the #1 Nurse is on break! Oh, shit! I exclaim, as I grab the nearest nurse by the neck.