Monday, February 16, 2015

Catering to you

We all have had difficult patients, families, co-workers and bad days. Over the course of this job, I have worked in situations, where a patient might come for multiple visits, over weeks, months or years. I understand all the psychodynamics of how the person might feel lost, or have a sense of powerlessness, or whatever................I get it. But why act out towards the folks who are trying their best just to help you? If you don't want to be in the hospital, or you'd rather not be repaired, just go home, Ok? There are many other nice folks we would just love to attend to.


I'd rather gather bathhouse blankets
Than take care of you,
Working minimum wage
And do the best I could do,
I'd rather dig fire-pits
To roast the slaughtered pig,
Than spend another day with you
With your ego so big.

When you come to the hospital
Please leave your attitude at home,
We're doing the best we can
This is not the church of Rome,
No, we're just medical peons
At your beck and call,
I'll do my best for 12 hours
Just don't call me Paul.

I will treat you respectfully
And look for the same in return,
I'll get you juice, food and TV
Your care is my concern,
But please do remember
Your safety comes first,
If the Doctor writes, "NPO"
I can't cater to your thirst.

You didn't eat since yesterday?
It's a bother, but not critical,
Most of us are overweight
I'm just saying, not analytical,
And fasting can be a benefit
However stressful, it might seem,
When you finally get to eat
Our food will taste like a dream.

I'd rather trim forty acres
Of Star Thistle, in June,
If you ever come back again
That will be too soon.

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