Saturday, October 04, 2014

Nursing; now it's relative

It's hard to believe that the "Nursing Diagnosis" and its companion, "Care Plan" has survived into the 21st century. I thought they were absolute effin B.S. back in 1981, but apparenly the force of evil (Darth NANDA), was more powerful than I could ever imagine. A close relative of mine, now in Nursing School, is suffering through all of that nonsense, just as I did, and millions of other suckers. I just couldn't help but write about it again.

Darth Nanda

I've been studying so much
My brain seems to hurt,
My eyes are so dry
My tear ducts can't squirt,
There's a crick in my neck
From some postural twist,
If I had a Care Plan punching bag
I'd slug it with my fist.

"Critical Analysis of NANDA
Nursing Diagnosis Taxonomy",
This gobbledygook nonsense
Might ruin our economy,
When Nursing students realize
They can't swallow that crap,
They should have studied something else
Instead of wearing the fools cap.

Is it any wonder
That a Nursing Educator,
Isn't paid as much
As your average head waiter,
So, to bury their misery
They'll write scholarly junk,
To force on nursing students
Like a bullying punk.

Just find me a nurse
Who thinks care-plans are hot,
Those are the ones
Whose skills are but naught,
Because the genuine experts
Who deal with bullets and knives,
Have no time to score care-plans
When they're out saving lives.


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