Thursday, June 05, 2014

Buccal Fever

I derive no pleasure having my teeth cleaned, except hanging out with a hot little number, known as Dental Dana.

Dental Dana 26

Dental Dana
Sweet as ever,
I’m her fulcrum
And she’s the lever,
Plying her tools
On my teeth and gums,
She’s probably thinking
I’m real dumb.

I never seem to floss enough,
My Tartar buildup
Is Dodge Ram tough,
With crowded teeth
And inflammation,
She must think
I’m an aberration.

First that Ultrasonic
Scaling screech,
Then she buffed my teeth
With household bleach,
Causing a cataclysmic
Buccal clench,
Oh, Dental Dana
What a wench!

Dental Dana 27

Dental Dana
Is at the top of my list,
Of the sweetest girls
I never kissed.

When she leans over me
With her scented mask,
I can hardly manage
To stay on task,
I’m not supposed
To move at all,
I’m dependent on
Her beck and call.

“Turn your head
Now, clench your jaw”,
While I’m dreaming of carrots
And all things raw,
Yes, that Dana
Gets me overthinking,
It’s no wonder
I go home, start drinking.

To the nth degree,
It slows me down
Like a cold iced-knee,
Brings me back
To my senses, man,
‘Twas just a teeth cleaning
I better stick to the plan.

Keeping my eye
On that hygiene chick,
Watching every single
Flick of her Bic,
Planning my next move
Four months from now,
Today was a bust
See you later, and Ciao.


Dental Dana 28

Dental Dana
Gave me a frown,
Busted my molar
And stole my crown,
Then, she called me
A nasty pest,
Because she leaned over
And I bit her breast.

I couldn’t help it
I was in pain,
They didn’t give me
The Novocaine,
No laughing gas
Or acupuncture,
So I was desperate
At that juncture.

She got close to me
And I took a bite,
I didn’t know if
It was day or night,
In that dental chair,
But she really screamed
When I pulled her hair.

Dental Dana
She’s a ball of fire,
I begged her, Honey
Don’t ever retire,
Because every time we meet
It’s an exciting event,
In the future, could you possibly
Give consent?


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