Thursday, January 30, 2014

Monitor Mention

I'll be the first to admit that cruising the Internet can be very time-consuming, entertaining and primarily distracting. But come on folks, we shouldn't be doing it while we're supposed to be working. When you take your 15 or 30 minute break, go ahead, drop into cruise control; but when you clock back in for work duties, shut the damn thing off! It is an unsafe practice and unprofessional, with the public watching our every move.

Monitor Mention

I've tired myself
With all my observations,
I'm so far beyond
Any consternation,
Regarding the lack
Of professional attention,
But give me a moment?
There's one I'd like to mention.

The Monitor Techs
Of a certain age,
Keep their eyes on the screens
And look at strips on each page,
Comparing this morning
With later afternoon,
With precise,careful viewing
Like watching phases of the moon.

They studied Basic EKG
Intermediate, and more,
Ordered Cardiac Rhythms
From Dr. Marriott's store,
Attended rhythm symposia
Whenever they could,
If Zak Vera said, "read this"
They knew that they should.

But those days are disappearing
A Monitor Tech, is a U. A.,
How many textbooks do they own?
It is really hard to say,
But I suspect it isn't many
Afterall, they took that class,
And if you showed up for 3 days
You couldn't help but pass.

How many books about rhythms
Do I have at my house?
At least ten for me
And one or two for the mouse,
Along with the journals
The articles, and more,
The science keeps growing
Thus, more books at the store.

I am sorry to report
But around fifty percent,
Of Monitor Techs I view
May need to repent,
Regarding smartphone habits
Versus Monitor attention,
Yes, that was the thing
That I wanted to mention.


Friday, January 10, 2014


Another ridiculous assignment, designed and delivered to us by under the rock management. Sorry, I'm just venting after working a 13.75 Hour long shift and dangerously understaffed for the last 5 hours of that.


Just another stupid shift
Oh, let me tell you why,
Staffing so bad
I could almost cry,
Instead I was cussing
A blue streak and more,
As two going-home patient's
Left their blood on the floor.

One patient was waiting
For a room, all day long,
Thirteen hours on hold
That's one bluesy song,
Filled with hours of pain
Nausea and more,
Praying for some space
On the Oncology floor.

Six patients at 7 pm
Then two of them split,
Now four of them for two of us
But that's just half of it,
One 8 o'clock bleeder
And a sheath-pull at nine,
The other bleeder at 1030
And she was all mine,
With a growing hematoma
And blood-pressure sky high,
Thirty minutes to stop it
And again, I could cry;

Because our night wasn't finished
Finding a room was a chore,
When the bleeder was transferred
We weren't done, there was more,
With duties, like charting
Cleaning and sorting,
Day shift wants a fresh house
Or they will be snorting,
About the things we didn't do
Though we worked so flippin' late,
Lord, if I get laid-off
I will thank my bloody fate!


Thursday, January 09, 2014


The return of a “frequent flyer” is something most of us experience in the medical realm. The person who has a health issue that keeps recurring, despite multiple attempts to ameliorate it. This is the story of one gentleman, who suffers from persistent Atrial arrythmia’s. He has undergone several Ablation procedures, and multiple Cardioversions.

On the Green

It's hard to believe
But, he came back again,
Mr. Atrial Fib
For a visit to our pen,
He said that he missed us
Like toast is to butter,
While up on the monitor
I spotted A. Flutter.

He had a nine month reprieve
What mysterious trigger
Prompted this latest excursion?,
To visit our pad
Of electrical thrills,
Dr. Oneill must be wishing
For some magical pills.

Good for nine months
No Apixaban on board,
He needed an echo
To see if clots could be scored,
If clear, he would earn
An elecrical shock,
January seven?, already
He's punching our clock.

Atrial Flutter
Doesn't require much juice,
One little shock
To attain a testy truce,
Send him off on his way
To destinations, unknown,
Get on with your life
If you need us, just phone.

It was wonderful to see you
In two thousand fourteen,
But the next time we meet
Let it be on the green.


Wednesday, January 08, 2014



Last week I had the pleasure of attending to a delightful gentleman who originally hailed from Ireland. Prior to the previous week, he had never been treated for any “chronic” health conditions, and he was 90 years old. He mentioned that four years back, he did have a hip replacement, that being the only time he had spent time in a hospital. Here was an active member of the community, truly full of life, a recent world traveler, and he didn’t even own a written prescription. Amazing!

Why the story? Because the nurse who called report from the outlying hospital, told me, “(this man) he is certainly in denial, regarding his health”. In regards to her assessment?; she was so far off base, she was out in the parking lot.

He's in denial
That's what she said,
Heck, he's 90 years old
And nowhere's near dead,
He doesn't see a doctor
And never takes medicine,
He's a genius of living
Like good Thomas Edison.

He lives alone
And has never been married,
He works for the church
His life is so varied,
He's in charge of three orphanages
In places far East,
90 years in the making
A heckuva priest.

He's an old time member
At the Ballybunion links,
Where the wind howls like banshees
And old friends raise their drinks,
For a returning old son
Whenever he comes home,
He's 90 years old
And still on the roam.

Is he in denial?
I think not, again,
Undeniably, Father
Is the healthiest of men.