Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Sadie's Number

I admit it, this didn't really happen to me, but it's all about the rhyme. The Hazmat event did really happen, but it was Rob, that suffered. I was just a bystander watching the event unfold. Unfortunately, there wasn't a hot Sadie, either.

Sadie’s Number

Although it seems
Like I have written
Everything already before,
New generations of Nurses
Keep walking through the door,
And I feel I have
An obligation to inform them
Of everything that could happen,
"Wear gloves, a gown
And a face shield,
When Billy-Bob is crappen."

It was one of my
Earliest discoveries
Way back in eighty - three ,
Just how the
Nasty excrement
Could fly and fling on me,
When my attention was distracted
By Billy-Bob's teenage daughter,
When she came flouncing in the room
Wearing short-shorts
That Momma bought her.

Although, I was astounded
(Why did those idiots, just march in?),
Well their daddy was on the crapper
That oughta be a Mortal sin,
And assaulted they were
By such a horrible stench,
Mama and pretty Sadie
Collapsed upon the bench.

Young Sadie
She only managed a squeak,
As Billy Bob raised up off the crapper
Good lord, his legs were weak,
While the bottom bucket stuck
To his butt
And he staggered across the room,
His nurse reached out to support him
And that bucket, fell with a boom.

Now the laws of Physics
Somewhere state
An object subject to motion,
Will continue
In its moving way,
Whether solid, or liquid
Like lotion,
And like the monster Tsunami
Appearing so benign at sea ,
When the bucket hit the floor
The contents flew at me.

This never-angry professional nurse
Was now a Hazmat disaster,
Wishing he could fly away
Like Superman, but faster,
But when he left the room
Everything was fresh and neat,
And he managed to acquire
Sadie's number,
For a weekend retreat.


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