Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Memo Madness

Lacking rhyme inspiration, there is still a continuous supply of nonsense to comment on in my workplace.

This week, another round of regulators are heading our way; The Joint Commission. Ah, if only they would pass out some joint's as a reward for good behavior, because there are times when marijuana has some very worthwhile features. I mean, after all, don't these Regulatory officials just make everybody really nervous and tense? Hot damn, they sure do, and some mj, would be good for all. Hmph, I can only wish.

These forays of FUBAR are always accompanied by a one sheet page of "helpful tips", just in case one of us is accosted by a surveyor. We earned a list of eight key points, and I'll address a couple.

Demand #1. Gloves can not be worn in the hallways by anyone.

  • First, does this include visitors too? Even the sweet and refined elder members of our local society, who sometimes wear lacy gloves when they are out and about? Do I contact the Security Officer, to report a glove-sighting, and perhaps he can issue a citation?
  • Second, what about me, the RN, when I'm transporting a patient via a common hallway, who may have a propensity for bleeding, coughing, vomiting, or spewing some other type of bodily fluid? Per hospital policy and OSHA regulations, I am required to wear protective clothing or gloves. If I am not wearing gloves, and the patient begins to bleed, am I allowed to let this continue, until we arrive in a patient-care area, where gloves are now allowable?
  • Third, Joe-Bob, the Joint Commission Surveyor, slips and falls in the hallway near the lobby, smacks his face on the safety hand-rail and is now hemorrhaging, in view of fourteen other visitors. Nurses and other emergency responders leap to his side to assist and resuscitate (if necessary)............and suddenly realize, they are not allowed to wear gloves on their hands in a hallway.
This is hilarious isn't it? Once again, I propose we bring Risk Management, Infection Control, the CDC and anybody else with a lick of common sense to take look at this proposed nonsense.

Demand #2: Check all doors to assure that locks are working and securing sharps.

  • First, I'm not sure if that is a complete sentence.

  • Second, "Sharps" I guess, have to do with the sharp and pointy things we wield on occasion, usually in proximity to a patient. Does the memo refer to all doors and all locks? If, at the end of my shift, when we are closing up for the night, why can't I just lock the doors of the room; why must I also lock the cabinets. It stands to reason, if Billy-Jo the thief has the know-how to break into the room, he will also know how to bust into the cabinet where sharp, pointy things are held. So why all the locks? (Cabinets and doors, windows and drawers). And technically, the "Used-Sharps" boxes are not truly locked; any person could easily reach inside with a small hand, or with a hemostat, to pull out all the sharps they wanted. Seeing as this "lock up the Sharps" program is designed to reduce the opportunity for bad people to steal good needles, one might suppose those same people don't really care if the needle is clean or not. I say, let them have the dirty ones at their own risk.  

Well, once again I’ve had my fun!

On my previous post regarding the “No Pass Zone”, you may recall the theme of that directive, was that ANYONE is expected to enter a room where a call-light has been triggered. Now we have yet another demand for the proverbial ANYONE................ “can not wear gloves in the hallways”. This is just another perfect example of all those idiotic “Zero-tolerance” edicts, currently being shoved down the collective gullets of Americans. Good-bye to common sense!


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