Sunday, December 09, 2012


I was trying to read the latest monthly satisfaction scores, posted on the wall in our break-room, but it was like Greek to me; too many acronyms, avatars, percentages and mumbo-jumbo. Who cares anyways? The "boss" (who?) always highlights with a yellow maker, the score that shows how we're screwing up. Boy, that sure is encouraging isn't it? What a morale booster!


Medicare won't pay us
Because you didn't smile,
Mrs. Smith said you were grumpy
When you were wiping her piles,
Because it just doesn't matter
That we cured her Leprous sores,
Reimbursement rules hospitals
With satisfaction scores.

Medicare won't pay us?
Quite naturally, our Chief,
Knows his bonus is in question
Along with the Chardonnay and beef,
Anxious and worried
He sends out letters forewarning,
Let's improve those satisfaction scores
Or careers will be in mourning.

With numbers to guide us
One might think we'd be the best,
But personally, I don't understand
The breakdown of the test,
Percentages and Avatars
Of statistical reporting,
After sniffing at the details
I'm left sneezing and snorting.

How is it good for morale
To keep reporting how we fail?
Highlighting the low scores
This news, soon goes stale,
It might be better to emphasize
All those things we do best,
Proud and happy warriors
Work stronger towards their quest.

I know this represents
A paradigm shift,
And it's obvious that health-care
Hasn't adjusted to the drift,
Where employees are honored
Each and every day,
Instead they threaten and bully us
And it just doesn't play.

Most certainly unwanted
Reprimands and scolding,
Reminders of our failures
Praise and bonuses, withholding,
Telling us, that we're the cause
Of reimbursement losses,
No, our highly paid leaders
Just aren't the best bosses.

Medicare won't pay us?
I don't give a damn,
But I'll do the best in my job
Because that's who I am.


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