Saturday, December 31, 2011

It's wonderful knowing everything, but don't be a fool, knowing isn't loving. What do I mean? Enjoying all the various tasks that one knows about, is the kicker. We all have favorite things that we enjoy doing, some of those that we excel at, and a few others that we suck at. If you're my manager, and you know I'm not so good at something, that I hate doing it, and it's very likely that I won't get through it, without screwing the pooch somewhere, why give me that assignment? The person following me is just going to get angry, that once again, I screwed up on this "not so difficult" task. Why throw me into that black hole in the first place?

Black Hole

Why I don't like
One particular job,
You must be neat and exacting
But I am a slob.

I can't seem to keep track
Of all the finicky parts,
The nuances and particulars
Where it ends and where it starts.

I become anxious and distraught
And I lose all control,
What should take two or three hours
Becomes a timeless black hole.

My chance of screwing up?
If you're a betting man, odds are good,
But that raises the question, dear Leader
Why not assign it to someone who could,
Just breeze through it dandy and efficient
There are several who work at our station,
I'm not trying to dodge, but rather support
No mistakes, for that big operation.

I'm accustomed to procedures, fast-paced situations
Quick assessment of resources and need,
I like doing different stuff, all the day long
If it's a hemorrhage, I'll help stop the bleed,
But give me a task, with a 50 step checklist
That must be done, an exact, certain way,
I guarantee, Boss, that will be your mistake
It will seem like it takes me all day.

From a management side, I get the point
Everyone should know everything,
But let's be honest, we all have our talents
I can chant, but I surely can't sing,
And they know damn well I will jump in the fire
When others are running for the door,
I'm willing to be here, any time, day, or hour
Just don't assign this particular chore.


Monday, December 26, 2011

Things were pretty slow the day after Christmas, a Monday, such that there were no procedures or "preps" on our roster. However, we still had a couple of people on and you. I received the dreaded phone call about 0835, right in the middle of a cool dream about the mini-mountains outside of Escondido, Cal, and the "hidden" Buddhist monk gathering at their amphitheater, that I discovered. What a dream to leap out of!

Anyway, no matter how I look at it.................'twas easy money.

Just a Wiffle and a Doodle

On-call Monday
The Christmas day, after,
Awakened at 8:30
By the phone, no, not laughter,
A 9:15 clock-in
Betty-Lou was in charge,
Oh, the dread in my heart..........
Just glad it wasn't Large Marge.

A couple of Echocardiograms
Were awaiting on my plate,
Scheduled two hours apart
One is bound to be late,
But then, the second one was cancelled
He was hypertensive and tachy,
Hyper-fluid dynamics
Results unclear and just wacky.

Three more hours of doodles
Help and assistance to share,
I got home about four
Easy work, completely fair;
Short hours, extra pay
Who could complain about that,
On-call is just a wiffle
When it's my turn at bat.


Tuesday, December 20, 2011

In the realm of post-Interventional Angiography, we see our fair share of predictable adverse events. We take all the steps that we can to avoid these happenings, but what can you do, when the universe is gunning against you?

This is the story about crazy Betty and the dancing Russian.

He Fainted, She Bled

She bled, she Bled
But she's not dead,
But I have to admit
She was out of her head;

He slept four hours
But when given the chance,
He passed out cold
After his little dance;

Predictable events
That I'd rather not see,
After a Cardiac Cath
But it happens to me,
When Billy Bob - Betty Lou
Get out of bed,
One of them fainted
And the other one bled.


Friday, December 16, 2011

Expensive Replacement

But I was still screwed over,
Sending me to Neuro on Saturday
As the float-pool rover;

Look!: An extra nurse
To use, as they will do,
If you think that's cool
Just let it happen to you;

I'm an expensive replacement
I've already clocked, 43 hours,
But when they're desperate
They'll use all of their powers,
To coerce this unfortunate
And available nurse,
My buddies get 6 hours of call
And I earned the curse.


__ __ __ __ __ __ __ _


Well, it wasn't too bad
But it just wasn't right,
Float-pool nurse on the weekends
Sleep well, nighty-night,
Time-and-a-half, that's ok
But it was a sentence
Not consent,
If they propose this again
I'll buy a boat and cement.


Monday, December 05, 2011

It's a fact......I'm aging. Sure, everybody knows it might come to be, but wait until it happens to you. One day, you're a happy-go-lucky 20-something and then BAM!, your back aches at 4am, your teeth are in cup, and all your body parts are drooping south. It's horrid. I didn't sign up for this.......apparently, this business was hidden and buried in the very small print, in those pages of the instruction manual, that were eaten by the rats.

Deaf, Dumb and Blind

When I was younger
I studied mind over matter,
But as I get older
It's about mind over bladder.

Back when I was twenty
I pondered psychic meditation,
Now I'm almost sixty
With atrial fibrillation.

As a young man
I practiced altered states,
Now I'm pushing sixty
I lost hair and gained some weight.

Life is such a laugh
My early endeavors
Were fantastic in my mind,
Now I'm approaching an age
Where I worry
That I'm deaf, dumb and blind.