Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Why do I enjoy hospital meetings, seminars and corporate pep rally's so much? Because there is always so much material to satirize.

Case in point:
Yesterday I finally attended the “must-go” Satisfaction class, at blah-blah hospital. For each table of hospital participants, we had one of those whopping big white paper flip charts to write our collective brilliant thoughts upon. I spent the 90 minutes drawing a cute little doodle-vignette, which included the what-where-when-why-how anagram Bear, the aidet-man super hero, and the nursing bundle dropping from the sky, like a giant turd, in the “no pass gas” zone.

I also keyed in on several hot phrases to turn into satirical poems, covering the hot topic of patient satisfaction. Have a look:

Bust or Boon

H-CAHPS, and Avatar scores
They’re shooting for the moon,
Blasting satisfaction surveys
Will it be, a bust or boon?

We’ll smile and wave to our customers
Hold hands and lookem’ in the eye,
Write two things that they want to do
On the white-board, before they die.

And if that ain’t satisfying
Oh surely, yes we’ve made it,
And thanks to all those trainers
Who taught us how to AIDET.

__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ _

Peanuts and Candy

Always, usually, sometimes, never
Ambiguous terms, this primate lever,
Satisfaction scores, tell it all, aren’t they dandy?
Like training monkee’s in a cage, with peanuts and candy.

__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __

Satisfaction School

Sitting at the round table
At Satisfaction school,
Another Management exercise
Just who will they fool?

This time around.........
Same old stuff
Brand new wrapping,
Another AIDET revival
With all of that back-slapping.


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