Wednesday, October 05, 2011

I don't know about you, but to me, the idea that we are using "Satisfaction Surveys" to guide our reimburesments, seems absolutely ludicrous. I mean, how easy would it be to manipulate the results? Just take a little money out of the purse (or some other attractive trinket, like a free Heart-Cath), offer it to the patient or family, and have the best surveys coming in by the dozens. This will become a boondoggle for corruption, mark my words!

But you know, "corporate" and "big government" love the idea.........Politically Correct Care!

Sadist Faction Scores

Satisfacton surveys
For reimbusement compensation,
Are we the first country to do this
This united nation?
I'm not much of a historian
I only study the here and now,
But apparently Uncle Sam
Is threatening our cash cow.

So, of course your medical repair
Is our ultimate intent,
But does it offer real certainty
Regarding money well spent?,
If your satisfaction-survey
Is returned as a D-minus?
We might be forced to offer prayers
To Saint Thomas Aquinus.

Sister Euphemia
Would never throw those dice,
For patient-satisfaction
She's willing to pay any price,
Which is why this particular nurse
Always offers special care,
Sister Euphemia states
It's time for truth or dare.

By demanding satisfaction scores
That achieve one hundred percent,
If we don't reach those ideal numbers, baby
Rest assured, we will repent,
Because a reprimand from Sister
Is a frightening thing, indeed,
Satisfaction scores, be damned, my child
Get ready for your bleed.

Sadist Faction scores
Correctly named, to be sure,
Whenever Sister threatens
She guarantees her cure.


1 comment:

Nurse Practitioners Save Lives said...

Oh how I agree! We have sooooo many surveys that can be fabricated if I wanted to. The patients get really tired of doing them too.